BREAKING NEWS: Talking Toilets!

It's weird to think that I'm a 19 year old and play with kids for a living. 
You can think about it one or two ways. 

1 - Kids are gross and pick their noses 
or..........
2 - I get to throw a little boy around. 
Plus Asians drive sick cars. Seriously though, there are four Audi's parked outside as we speak. The people driving them wear the exact same clothes everyday with their pajamas under them, but we can just forget about that part. My China dad drives a pretty dope car, but everything changes when his phone rings and it's Justin Bieber...

I had to watch the most disturbing thing I've ever seen… I think I may have nightmares from it. It was this whole episode about a talking toilet, and it would show different things going pee on it. Like it showed EVERYTHING! and it made the pee drops have smiley faces, and as they got flushed they would giggle. These giggles are horror movie giggles. I think it's time to run.

I ate my first Halloween treat of the season and all it did was reminded me how much I don't like candy. I would happily eat candy at home if it meant I didn't have to eat anymore here (this says a lot). It tastes like stale soy sauce… Actually most things taste like stale soy sauce. Cookies, tarts, everything! China has a distinct taste that never leaves your mouth. Chinese people also have a distinct, gross way of eating. Their mouth is always open while chewing, and they slurp up everything possible while shoveling something else up with their chopsticks. It's actually quite amazing. Today at breakfast we ate quail eggs. What the heck? Who eats quail eggs? What makes me even more nervous is I haven't seen one bird the whole time being here.... so where is this egg coming from?

I found out what the mucusy looking stuff is. Rice and water. haha grandma says it runs right through your digestive system. Watching me and Grandma trying to speak to each other would out do Keeping Up With the Kardashian's. We pretty much are just playing a game of Charades with a whole bunch of Chinese yelling and a whole bunch of English laughing. We get to the point eventually, but the record of the longest game is 14 minutes, and by game I mean one word.

It is so cold here. The government controls the heat systems so there is absolutely no heat coming through this house. They won't turn it on until late November. Stupid communism…. The cold is very wet too. My clothes are always damp which I'm sure you can imagine is miserable. I wish I could build a fire in my room… hmmm maybe I should try that when everyone is sleeping.

Today I had a full blown melt down. I was in the play room watching Sarah with tears streaming down my face and trying so hard to have someone from home come pick me up. The sad moments come so strong and overwhelming here. At times I feel like I'm completely alone and have no idea how to handle it. They always go away though, luckily. 

I've learned one great thing about taking care of kids throughout this week. GET OVER YOUR EGO. You need to learn to get over it and play with Legos and cars, run around like something is chasing you, make vroom sounds while you fly a car around. Just do it. It makes everything way easier for the both of you in the long run.

Tomorrow morning I'm having my first encounter with the bus and train stations. I will admit that I am scared out of my mind. I really am not looking forward to getting lost in Beijing so everyone keep your fingers crossed for me please! I'm so excited though because it's my first Chinese class! I just want to learn the language so I can actually communicate with people. Oh and lets hope that there are cute American white boys in my class too... I'll keep you up to date on what happens with that. 

p.s I'm wondering if it's inappropriate for me to refer to Sarah as Satan? Today she peed all over me… and everyday I have to clean up one or both of her bodily fluids. Someone/something has to take over my cats name? Lets take a vote.

xoxo