Good and bad news.

Sad news everyone. No, the beating did not seem to work. This morning I woke up with an awful migraine accompanied by puking. Moral of the story is if a Chinese person every tries to beat the crap out of you to "fix your head," they are lying and don't listen to them.

Good news is I only have 39 days left of being an au pair! Who's counting though?

xoxo

Chinese medicine gone bad.

Chinese people are convinced that they can fix anything and everything with Chinese medicine. If you talk about Western medicine they shake their head and tell you not to use it. Feini, my host mom, knows about my migraines and is convinced she knows someone that can make them stop. It doesn't matter what I tell her about them, she just shuts me right up. So Saturday comes rolling along and she says, "Come on Lucy we are going to fix your head." I've learned that asking questions just brings along more questions that will never be answered and put my shoes on. Next thing I know she is parking the car next to some sketchy apartment building and I get that "not so good butterfly" feeling in my stomach. We walk into the building, which smells like rotten sandwiches, and get in the elevator (which I'm pretty sure had blood on the floor), and I gain the confidence to finally ask where in the world she has taken me. I get nothing. Absolutely nothing. So at this time I'm pretty sure she is bringing me here to slaughter me in some room where the evidence won't be found and that's when I noticed my hands shaking a bit. The elevator opens and I start thinking about my family (because I am about to get murdered) then some random door opens to one of the apartments with some lady starring at us. No communication goes on between her or Feini and the lady grabs my arm and leads me to a room full of white beds with pictures of naked men all over the walls. I lay on the bed that looks the cleanest, saying my goodbyes in my head, as a man walks out of a hidden door and takes my shoes off.

My eyes are closed waiting for whatever it feels like to be murdered when I feel hands pushing the top of my stomach pretty much into my back. I opened my eyes trying to comprehend what was going on and realized that no, there was no knife, just a very strong Chinese man standing above me singing, and rocking back and forth as he was pounding into my stomach. I turned to Feini wanting answers and all I got back was "He's making your stomach work again." Oh, I wasn't aware that it was broken? And the pain that he was putting me through was making me feel like it was soon to be broken. Next thing I know he flips me over to my stomach and starts hitting my back. Literally hitting me! I have never been in so much pain during a "massage." This morning I woke up with bruises along the sides of my neck and the top of my shoulders so ya. I'm not exactly sure what we accomplished. He did look very proud of himself when he was done though, which could mean two things - 1. It was the first time he had ever touched a blonde person and 2. He actually knew what he was doing and there is some magic formula about punching a person as hard as you can over and over again to make migraines go away. I guess we will have to wait to find out! I'll be icing my bruises....

The plus side, Feini took me to get one of the best burgers of my life and sushi! It was a caesar salad hamburger. That's all that needs to be said.

xoxo I will be healing from my beat down.

The Forbidden City

Sorry for the fact of not having very many scenic pictures to share. Honestly just getting sick of touristy places. Buutttttt Danny and I had a good time. I don't know if I've introduced Danny on here? No? Well he is from California so we have another American on our hands :) We get along because he likes to imitate objects as well.

he's obviously being a pot...

and I'm obviously being a bowl..

Just being normal

selfie of a selfie.

just one normal one.

Danny proposing to the wall

hahahaha

I feel the need to climb everything.

When you break the law bad things happen to you.

but you get good pictures out of it.

And then the reward of pizza to drown our sorrows of Linda leaving.

True happiness.

xoxo

The 2 favorites

So Linda and Seamus both decided it was okay to abandon me...... now here I am.....

Okay I guess it isn't the end of the world. We had a good couple of days. Seamus got to come stay in Beijing for his last week and forced us to take him places. Such high maintenance people those British are ;) We ate a lot of food and laughed a whole lot. He was the first to go.

and now I miss him so come back.

Then Linda, my dear. We took a whole lot of selfies, ate more than any normal person can consume and did some kung fu. No, Jackie Chan wasn't there and people weren't doing flips over my head, but I guess it was still pretty fun ;) It was called Tai Chi or something like that and it consists of very slow movements and a lot of background. Honestly all I wanted to do was kick people so I had a pretty hard time standing there listening to the translator talk about what it was. 

Linda with The Master

We got pedicures and ate ice cream.

and here are a bunch of not so attractive selfies and nice food for your entertainment :)

Goodbye my cute friends :(

xoxo